CHAPTER 34
The rain slowed and trickled out of the sky in a gray, depressing haze as Matt parked the Monte Carlo in the LaCroix’s private lot. He shut off the engine, and neither he nor Diedra moved from their seats.
He stared straight ahead, while she gazed out the window. She didn’t focus on anything. The only thing to see was a blank brick wall that ran along one side of the lot. A faint electric flash lit the rear- and side-view mirrors, and several seconds later they heard muted thunder.
“So the guy in the park,” Diedra said, finally, into the silence. “Simon. He was like you.”
“He’d have to be. The things I saw him do...”
“So you’ve been looking for him.”
Matt nodded.
“And if you find him, what then? What’re you going to do?”
“I’m not sure. It’ll depend on him, I guess. But I don’t think he’s going to be very friendly. I mean, he didn’t seem all that malicious when I caught up to him, just scared, mainly, but we both saw what he did to that girl.”
“Yeah.”
He shifted around in the seat to face her, unbuckled his safety belt to do it, and tucked his right leg underneath himself. “Diedra. Do you believe humans are basically good? Or basically evil?”
“Jesus, Matt, that’s a tired question. I’m sorry, but that’s, like, so college student.”
“Well? What do you believe?”
She sighed. “I guess...I think the human race is good. Basically. Yeah, I do, I think people will be nice if you give them the chance.”
Matt stayed quiet for a long time before he looked down and shook his head sadly. “I disagree with you.” He said it with regret, as if he had just lost something, or the possibility of something. “I wish I could agree, but I can’t. Humans are selfish, and greedy, and...and it takes so much effort to teach ourselves to be anything but animals. I think, I believe, that’s what makes us human—the ability to rise above our impulses. But so few of us do...”
Nonplused, Diedra said, “That’s pretty bleak.”
His head came back up. “Have you read any history? Have you paid attention to what the human race does to itself, every day?”
She shook her head in denial. “Lots of bad stuff happens every day, sure... Wait. This relates to you directly, doesn’t it? You think this is some kind of justification for what you do? You’re rationalizing your actions?”
He bristled, but his voice stayed level. “I’m not rationalizing anything. What I’m saying is that I can have a direct effect on the amount of shit out there.”
Diedra gestured in the air for several seconds as she gathered her thoughts.
“But you’re not advancing the good human qualities! I’ve read the papers, and if they’re anywhere near accurate, you’re advocating violence and anger just as much as any of the thugs you’re pounding on!”
He looked out through the windshield and drummed his fingers on his thigh. “I’m taking the behaviorist approach. I’m convinced that if enough criminals realize they’re going to end up in the hospital, the number of crimes will decrease. In fact, it’s already started to, I think you’ll find that if you check.” He bowed his head, but she could see his teeth were gritted. “And I am nothing, I am nothing like the slime that oozes out onto the streets every night. I am nothing like them.”
Suddenly frightened, Diedra pulled as far away from him as she could, and realized in a flash how exhausted she was. She’d spent the night almost without sleep, and then run an emotional gamut for several hours straight. Her eyelids grew heavy even as her heart thudded.
“Okay, look. I’ve missed a whole day of work, I’m sure the maintenance guy is about to report me missing, and I absolutely cannot handle any more surprises from you. Not for a while. I’ve got to go.” She opened her door and was about to step out into the rain when Matt took her upper arm in one hand.
“Wait a minute. Close the door.”
She did, but wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“Can I trust—” He stopped and started over. “You know about me. Can we keep this between ourselves?”
She darted a glance at him. “If I told anyone...”
“If you told anyone.” He paused. “If you told anyone, it would be really inconvenient. But it wouldn’t stop me. I’d still be out there. I just wouldn’t have this apartment anymore.”
She sighed. “Your - ha. I’ve always wanted to say this. Your secret’s safe with me.” She pulled his hand off her arm. “But we’re going to have to talk about this some more. A lot more. Soon.”
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
# # #
Neither of them noticed Simon in the brown Ford, watching them. The pretty Indian woman got out and went inside the building. A few minutes later Matt Sinclair, in a long, stylish gray raincoat, unfolded his long body from the car and followed after her. Simon whispered, “Hey...nice coat.”
Simon had excellent vision, and saw Matt’s tag number clearly through the rain. He jotted it down in a three-by-five spiral notebook, started the Ford and headed back out to Brenda’s house.
On his way, he pulled out a cell phone and dialed eleven digits. The phone rang four times before it picked up.
“Hello?”
Not as confident as she used to be. Some of that zing missing. “Hi, Mom.”
In Louisiana, Anna Grove said, “Simon?”
“Yeah. How’s it goin’?”
“Son, where are you? You left, you didn’t even say goodbye, I didn’t know what happened, where you were! Are you, are you all right?”
He sighed, stretched a little before he answered her. “Well...yeah, I’d say I’m all right. There’s been a lot going on. I can’t really tell you about much of it, but believe me, it’s been an experience. Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Where are you?”
“It still is an experience, if you want to get technical about it. Stuff is still happening.”
“Simon?”
“Y’know, Mom, how I used to be? All timid and shit? Well, it’s really not like that anymore.”
“You need...need to...” Her voice shook, choked. He heard the tears in it. “Simon, you need to come home. You know you need to come home.”
Simon grinned and tapped his knuckles on the wheel in time to the song on the radio. “Is Jessica there? Can I talk to her?”
“Simon...”
“I think Jess would like the new me, my new direction. I think we have some old times to catch up on, if I remember correctly. Do a few things should have been done before.”
His mother cried softly into the phone for a few moments. Simon tried to figure out how he felt about that, and settled on annoyed.
Haltingly she said, “Please come home. Simon...I love you. I want to help you. Whatever’s happened, whatever it is you’ve done, I want to help you.”
He waved her words away impatiently. “Hey, listen, I just wanted to call and say, you don’t need to worry about me, all right? I’m not in the mood for melodrama. I’m on top of things now, for the first time in my life, and I wanted you to know that. Okay? Next time I’m in town I’ll try and stop by.”
He heard her say, “Simon!” one more time before he punched the END button. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Okay, so that was a bad idea. Aloud he said, “Jeez,” and concentrated on his driving as the rain grew heavier.
AUTHOR’S NOTES FOLLOW IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.
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1 comments:
It is with great embarrassment that I post this chapter about a day late. I was working on the script for the fourth issue of TOY STORY last night and it COMPLETELY slipped my mind.
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